---
title: "Is here good? Questionable."
date: 2024-07-17
---
{% prologue %}
Olden Times
========================
World's Oldest Newspaper
{% timeTag date %}

## Wanted Gang Terrorizes City
Last Seen Night Of Dock Fire

A strange group, known only as a the Junk Fort Gang, is wanted in conection to a series of crimes, including the burgery at the Iruvian Schoolf of Art, the sinking of the ship Dawn's Hammer, a prison break and subsequent prison fire, the assault on Lord Wott and the subsequent house fire, the theft of the Ma Goo Fin and the subsequent warehouse fire, and the murder of of suspected crime boss Baszo Baz and subsequent dock fire.\
The group is considred armed and very dangerous.\
They are believed to have left the city in "GarBarge." Reports from the outer Dagger Isles suggest that the crew sailed to Last Hurrah, a famous demon holiday spot, before fleeing towards the Void Sea towards uncharted waters.  

## Void Sea Disturbances?

In completly unrelated news, we bring you a list of unsubstainted reports and rumors fom the literal backwards of the Void Seas:\
  • **Whalers reported a Leviathan attack.** These giant creatures are known for their caviar, which some compare to cat food. Remains of a dingy barge found, but no survivors.\
  • **Fire on Nelson Island.** Reportedly home to a cult of cannibals, witnesses report smelling smoke and the sounds of screams.\
  • **The return of Captain Fitzclyde?** Rumors abound that the famous pirate has been seen again sailing the open seas, now with a strange, nut\-punching, fire starting crew.
{% endprologue %}

{% alternateTitles %} 
- _"Where's Me Cabin Boy"_ - Tiger
- _"Are You a Hobo?"_ - Tiger
- _"I Gave Myself the Promotion"_ - Tiger
- _"Rule 1: No Waffle Stomping"_ - Bridget
- _"Strong but Apt"_ - Tiger
- _"I Open the Door with My Pant Down"_ - Boo
- _"Little Leg Liquor"_ - Tiger
- _"Djuckles Did You Talk to Patches in His Latrine?"_ - Boo
{% endalternateTitles %}